Kondome

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They happen to walk by the condom display, the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?"

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son.... Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package."

The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

" Cool, Say the boy!" He then picks up a package of 6 and asks "Who are these for?"

"Those are for college boys." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March........"

George Bush ruft Gerhard Schröder an. "Gerhard, Du musst uns helfen! Die grösste Kondom-Fabrik der USA ist letzte Nacht abgebrannt! Wir brauchen dringend 1.000.000 Kondome, kannst Du uns damit aushelfen?"

"Sicher!" antwortet Schröder. "Das dürfte kein Problem sein..."

"Die Kondome müssen aber in den amerikanischen Nationalfarben rot, blau und weiß geliefert werden. Ausserdem müssten sie mindestens 30 Zentimeter lang sein und einen Durchmesser von mindestens 6 Zentimetern haben! sagt Bush.

"Wenn's weiter nichts ist... Ich kümmere mich darum!" entgegnet Schröder.

Daraufhin ruft Schröder den Chef der grössten deutschen Kondomfabrik an: "Wir müssen dem Amis mit 1.000.000 Kondomen aushelfen! Ist das machbar?"

"Natürlich!" antwortet der Kondom-Fabrikant. "Irgendwelche besonderen Wünsche?"

"Ja. Die Kondome sollen rot, blau und weiß sein, ausserdem mindestens 30 Zentimeter lang und mindestens 6 Zentimeter im Durchmesser."

"Alles klar. Sonst noch was?"

"Ja" sagt Schröder. "Tun Sie mir einen Gefallen und bedrucken Sie die Kondome mit MADE IN GERMANY Size: SMALL"

And then there was the chemist who was running an experiment to test the
effectiveness of a new drug. I'm not sure, but I think this took place in Tübingen.

He needed a statistically significant sample, so he set up a matrix of 48 specimen of each of three different concentrations.

Unfortunately, he took too much time making sure that each test tube was filled exactly equally, and before he new it, it was past his usual Friday 3:30 quitting time (I'm sure it was Tübingen), and he would have to delay the completion of his experiment until the following Monday.

First he must protect the solutions from oxidizing, but alas, he had no stoppers for such large test tubes. Being a resourceful man (Tübingen, remember) he dashed off to the drugstore to purchase a gross of condoms, which the pharmacist gleefully provided.

He quickly returned to the lab and began covering the test tubes. However, he was one short, so, after determining that the statistical accuracy of his experiment probably wouldn't be seriously challenged (still Tübingen), he poured the one sample down the drain and left for the singles bar (in Tübingen??).

On his way to work Monday the chemist stopped at the drugstore and complained to the
pharmacist that there were only 143 condoms in the package, not 144.